Comments on: My Mom, the Stubborn Brick Wall http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/ The adventures of a male nurse navigating through life, staying fit, surviving the journey. Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:23:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: stubborn dog radio fence http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1003 Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:23:46 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1003 A good one, thank for the post, i enjoyed reading it.Matt

]]> By: Valerie http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1002 Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:03:06 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1002 Hi. I went through the same thing with my Dad, twisting myself into knots and bothering him non-stop. That is, until my boss gave me what I now see was the most precious gift: she told me I had to let Dad live his life the best way he knew how and quit trying to live it for him. She said I should accept him even if he didn't make the choices I wanted — even with critical health decisions. So I tried. He later told me he knew what he “should” do but felt like a failure when his willpower alone couldn't kick old habits, and then my harping made him feel even worse for letting the family down. I had no idea that's what my comments were doing. I am so thankful I backed off (mostly) and enjoyed our time and made sure he knew how much he was loved. He died unexpectedly this summer (not from anything I'd been harping on, either). It's hell losing him, but it would be worse if I had kept making him feel like he hadn't done right by us. Anyway, that's just one viewpoint. My heart goes out to you, and I hope your Mom comes around.

]]> By: Strong One http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-394 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:03:12 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-394 @ Valerie Thank you for sharing your story. It does make me re-think my attitude. Thank you.

@ Mark Thanks for trying? Not sure why it wouldn’t let you. I think you have to register on the website?

]]> By: Strong One http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1007 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:03:00 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1007 @ Valerie Thank you for sharing your story. It does make me re-think my attitude. Thank you.

@ Mark Thanks for trying? Not sure why it wouldn’t let you. I think you have to register on the website?

]]> By: Mark Salinas http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-389 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:11:43 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-389 Wow! Always a nice post here my friend…!

I tried voting for you but it wouldn’t let me!

]]> By: Mark Salinas http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1004 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:11:00 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1004 Wow! Always a nice post here my friend…!

I tried voting for you but it wouldn’t let me!

]]> By: Valerie http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-387 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:11:29 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-387 Hi. I went through the same thing with my Dad, twisting myself into knots and bothering him non-stop. That is, until my boss gave me what I now see was the most precious gift: she told me I had to let Dad live his life the best way he knew how and quit trying to live it for him. She said I should accept him even if he didn’t make the choices I wanted — even with critical health decisions. So I tried. He later told me he knew what he “should” do but felt like a failure when his willpower alone couldn’t kick old habits, and then my harping made him feel even worse for letting the family down. I had no idea that’s what my comments were doing. I am so thankful I backed off (mostly) and enjoyed our time and made sure he knew how much he was loved. He died unexpectedly this summer (not from anything I’d been harping on, either). It’s hell losing him, but it would be worse if I had kept making him feel like he hadn’t done right by us. Anyway, that’s just one viewpoint. My heart goes out to you, and I hope your Mom comes around.

]]> By: Strong One http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-386 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 08:24:49 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-386 @ Lynn Thank you for your kind thoughts, and thanks for visiting. Please stop back again.

]]> By: Strong One http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1006 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 08:24:00 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-1006 @ Lynn Thank you for your kind thoughts, and thanks for visiting. Please stop back again.

]]> By: Lynn Lagore http://mystrongmedicine.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-385 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 08:04:32 +0000 http://mystrongmedicine.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/my-mom-the-stubborn-brick-wall/#comment-385 It sounds like you’ve done a good job educating your mom already. There’s a saying: “You can lead an elephant anywhere it wants to go.” In my experience, people don’t change until THEY want to. I hope you can help influence what she wants in some way or another. In the meantime, from one mom for another, thanks for loving her.

]]>