Spanking A Child?
Posted by Sean on September 19, 2009
Spanking detrimental to children, study says – CNN.com.
OK.
Opening up a huge can of worms here.
To say spanking is detrimental to children and that you shouldn’t spank AT ALL is quite the over-generalization – don’t you think? Yes I believe in being careful how it is used, when it is used, and exactly how you are doing it. But, using it appropriately for behavioral problems and teaching the child the difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ is very effective.
No. I am not saying you need to abuse your child. I’m not saying spanking is the ONLY way to teach. I’m not saying that you need to raise your every time they do something wrong, disobey, act-up, etc. I’m simply saying that spanking your child has its place.
I don’t care what this or any other ‘study’ says. I don’t care what Dr. Spock and all his followers say. I CAN tell you that from personal experience, as well as from family and friend observation, that the absence of spanking yields a very different child and very different behavior.
Yes I think there are two sides to this coin and that parenting is a learned skill that no one will ever truly master.
But to say spanking is the root cause for a decrease in thinking skills??
C’mon?!
I guess my feelings for these type of studies ranks up there with trying to correlate child hood nose-picking with being a future threat to society. (Yes, these are actual studies!).
Just my humble opinion.
PDeverit said
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:Plain Talk About Spankingby Jordan Riak,The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Childrenby Tom Johnson,NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Sayby Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads.Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:American Academy of Pediatrics,American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,Center For Effective Discipline,PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,Churches' Network For Non-Violence,Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
PDeverit said
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
DreamingTree said
There are many variables to consider. If a parent chooses to spank, delivers the punishment without anger, and explains why it's being done, it can work. But, I think there are cases in which the parent yells, smacks, & yells some more. In those cases, the child learns to avoid the punishment at all costs. Might seem like a good thing, but it isn't. You want kids to learn to behave, not fear punishment. Fearing punishment doesn't stop bad behavior (at least, not for everyone) — it leads to better ways to avoid getting caught. The mistake that irks me is that people equate wimpy parenting as being the opposite of spanking. Effective discipline (minus spanking) works. I've seen plenty of out of control kids whose parents use physical punishment, and plenty of well-behaved kids whose parents do not spank (& vice versa). Consistency is the key.I'll stop there. Sorry — psychology was my first career, so I love to debate these topics.
Sean said
@ DreamingTree Very well said. Don’t apologize. Thank you for your input!
FarAwayDeb said
I think it totally depends on the child. I truly believe that with some children, there is sometimes just no other way. But I do think that in many cases spanking (and yelling) is used way too much, when parents are angry and/or stressed out and they end up taking it out on the child.
Sean said
@ FarAwayDeb I agree, very dependent on the child AND the parent. Thanks for commenting!
FarAwayDeb said
I think it totally depends on the child. I truly believe that with some children, there is sometimes just no other way. But I do think that in many cases spanking (and yelling) is used way too much, when parents are angry and/or stressed out and they end up taking it out on the child.
Sean said
@ FarAwayDeb I agree, very dependent on the child AND the parent. Thanks for commenting!
Reality Rounds said
I do not believe in spanking as an effective form of discipline. I have spanked my youngest daughter twice out of sheer frustration and the look of betrayal she gave me made me regret it to this day. Spanking just does not make sense to me. So you threaten a kid with physical violence so they will behave. What if they still do not behave? Do you up the violence? It seems to me like the kids who are spanked and yelled at all the time are the ones with the worst behavior.
Sean said
@ Reality Rounds Thank you for you input and opinion! I think it’s hard to categorize, and not a simple answer.
Reality Rounds said
I do not believe in spanking as an effective form of discipline. I have spanked my youngest daughter twice out of sheer frustration and the look of betrayal she gave me made me regret it to this day. Spanking just does not make sense to me. So you threaten a kid with physical violence so they will behave. What if they still do not behave? Do you up the violence? It seems to me like the kids who are spanked and yelled at all the time are the ones with the worst behavior.
Sean said
@ Reality Rounds Thank you for you input and opinion! I think it’s hard to categorize, and not a simple answer.
DreamingTree said
There are many variables to consider. If a parent chooses to spank, delivers the punishment without anger, and explains why it’s being done, it can work. But, I think there are cases in which the parent yells, smacks, & yells some more. In those cases, the child learns to avoid the punishment at all costs. Might seem like a good thing, but it isn’t. You want kids to learn to behave, not fear punishment. Fearing punishment doesn’t stop bad behavior (at least, not for everyone) — it leads to better ways to avoid getting caught.
The mistake that irks me is that people equate wimpy parenting as being the opposite of spanking. Effective discipline (minus spanking) works. I’ve seen plenty of out of control kids whose parents use physical punishment, and plenty of well-behaved kids whose parents do not spank (& vice versa). Consistency is the key.
I’ll stop there. Sorry — psychology was my first career, so I love to debate these topics.
Sean said
@ DreamingTree Very well said. Don’t apologize. Thank you for your input!
JS said
I wish more parents would “spank”! JS
Sean said
@ JS Well said.
JS said
I wish more parents would “spank”! JS
Sean said
@ JS Well said.
bthenextstep said
New Blog Post Spanking A Child?:
Spanking detrimental to children, study says – CNN.com.
OK… http://bit.ly/B77xm
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
bthenextstep said
New Blog Post Spanking A Child?:
Spanking detrimental to children, study says – CNN.com.
OK… http://bit.ly/B77xm
This comment was originally posted on Twitter