Contrary to what might be taught or suggested, it’s OK to cry with your patients. The idea of transference is a topic that is covered in entry-level nursing school. It’s widely suggested that showing emotions or allowing the emotions of others to influence you might be counterproductive to your delivery of care, or may sway your decision making.
In Episode 10 of my Podcast The Nurse Niche we talk about transference and how it’s not a bad thing. In fact it might be the best thing about nursing.
The podcast feed is live on iTunes. The next step is to create a separate website. I’m still doing this on the fly recording my thoughts as they come I think eventually I’ll start asking for feedback and/or suggestions and/or gonna have guests come on although I don’t know who that will be, when that will be, how that’s gonna happen but it sure sounds like a great idea doesn’t it? I mean everybody else does it. Interesting last couple shifts for me at work this is always difficult part as a provider is wanting to share your “war stories” but you have to follow the big fat hippo to make sure that you not violating anyone’s privacy.Today’s episode is inspired by events that happened during my last rotation of shifts.Talk a little bit about transference and good old-fashioned crying. Showing your emotions. Nursing 101 states were not supposed to have any kind of transference. Not supposed to show your emotions you not to have any emotions for your families for your patience and what I mean by emotions is you’re not host to side with them you’re not supposed to be angry with them you not supposed to what’s the word I’m looking for magnify their emotions in some way shape or by you crying they cry more by you getting angry they get more angry so on and so forth I’ve always had a huge problem with this thought process the idea transference is a bad thing in some way can ask any nurse out there worth their weight in water is that transference is gonna happen will happen and should happen feel show your emotions or don’t feel any emotions while caring for another human being during such a trying and challenging time then you might want to pick a different job always one then want to support the idea of trying with your patients but you should maintain your composure you have to maintain or stay within your role you don’t become the blubbering fool you don’t lose him bodily control with the arms waving in the screaming in the downplaying and things like that but there is absolutely nothing wrong with shedding tears with your fellow human being we deal in life and death said again we deal in life death last time I checked life and death is full of emotions a wide spectrum of feels what’s really wrong with that I think it’s it shows a lot of empathy and apathy if you shed a tear or hold the patient’s hand or give a family of hog during that moment they make those tough decisions I think it not only helps the families and the patients if they are cognizant unaware of it what heck it helps you to self-preservation something that we nurses are really really bad we got that selfless thing down pat taking care of others to ad nausea med exhaustion taking care of our patients taking care of our families taking care of our patients families taking care of everything but ourselves do you need to become an emotional wreck with no control and having no composure absolutely not you still need to be a source and a resource for those families those friends those patients they look to you for guidance they look to you for what to do next but every so often that family at patient kitchen the fields hit you in a place in your heart and your emotions they hell I don’t think you knew existed so that happened to me this past week got caught off guard I normally maintain steadfast composure but I quote unquote lost any and all the family friends and nurses who around got to witness it now admitted I I thought a little embarrassed I thought a little vulnerable I thought to myself will were no what happened here to stop this so of course I use my one and only defense mechanism that I have and I turned in the humor which I broke the the mood in lighting the light in the in the year of it but ultimately it was a very interesting and educational experience for myself as practitioner as a provider as a nurse one of my ramblings as they always are is that it’s okay and care how far along you are in your career as a nurse curcumin doing this 30 years or three days emotions are a good thing maintain composure me stay within your role as a nurse but don’t be afraid don’t be embarrassed to show emotions to holdout that he had to give that to show that showed that tear all of it is a good thing I for one and can admit wholeheartedly that every time that my family friends patients while network show some sort of emotions that I have to Doolittle to self talk to tell myself what I should or should not be doing and how I should be doing it but ultimately the emotions always take over it’s a matter of keeping it in control this is a fair warning that these emotions are to come out of nowhere and they are going to continue regardless of what job you do there any continue every day every week every month every year so it’s your job as a nurse to make sure you can handle it as part of the job once again that we talk about not everyone can do this job it’s not about it’s not just about the education and skill in the acquisition but it’s being able to handle the emotional turmoil and roller coaster and that happens working as a nurse that’s it nothing more nothing less as always thanks for tuning in I always love hearing your thoughts drop me a comment on any and all social media circles try me on twitter at I am afraid you can find me on Facebook my personal account Sean Dent. you can find it on my fan page I am Sean Dent. 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