And now for something completely different. For you’re viewing pleasure.
You want me to do what?
They did what do someone’s colon?
A what? A stoma? I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t sound good.
I remember looking at the appliance thinking to myself… ‘that does not look right’. I mean there was an orifice where there shouldn’t be one! (my apologies to all the brave folks out there who live with an ostomy, forgive me. I was very naive)
I started at the stoma within the appliance. Then I stared at the stoma and the bag….
Wait a minute… why does that bag look like it’s going to explode? Isn’t there you-know-what in that bag? And you want me to disconnect that thing?!
And that smell!? Oh man, oh man, oh man.
I was just like everyone else. I remember the hot mess I made trying to change my first ostomy bag. Wow. It wasn’t pretty. In fact… If memory serves me right… I had to ‘change’ the bag three times before I stopped making a bigger mess than the time before.
I mean …. Stool. Was. Everywhere. I lost count on how many times I apologized to that patient. This is one of those skills they do NOT teach you in nursing school.
The best piece of advice I can give every nurse out there… is to pin down your in-house wound care nurse and have them show you the ropes. They have magic hands, they really do.
As for the throwing up part… (see pic above)
You might wanna master the art of the mouth breathe….