I don’t want a male nurse taking care of me

This is always a hot debate out there in the circle of the nursing field (career). Do male nurses get ‘refused’ a lot from patients? Meaning, do patients refuse to be cared for by a male nurse, simply because we are men?

For some strange reason this topic seems to blur together with some of the other ‘male nurse myths’ out there. The two that come to mind are the ‘doctor = male & nurse = female’ myth and the ‘men don’t have the compassion to be a nurse’ myth.

I’m not even gonna try and talk about those two myths, they are so far ‘out there’ that they aren’t worth addressing.

I do however love to shed a little bit of light on the ‘refusal’ topic.

Here are some facts. Yes, I have been refused by patients on a handful of occasions. Yes, I have been refused by patients because I was of the male gender. Did I get offended, upset or angry? Only the very first time.

The very first time I was ‘refused’ I had only been an RN for less than 6 months. I think I had been off orientation in the ICU maybe a month or two (can’t quite remember). It was a NOC shift. I honestly cannot remember why this patient was even admitted to the ICU, what I do know is that her medical illness is not the reason why I was refused.

It was her comfort level.

Not her comfort in my abilities, her comfort in feeling vulnerable. She was not comfortable sharing or exposing her personal challenges with me. I won’t expand on those topics, but lets just say she was more comfortable having a fellow female handle her challenges.

It wasn’t the charge nurse that told me. It wasn’t the nursing supervisor that told me. It was the patient who told me. When I introduced myself, and informed her I would be taking care of her, she politely asked if she could have a woman instead of a man as her nurse.

She wasn’t rude. She wasn’t offensive. She was honest.

I walked out of the room feeling dejected and honestly quite pissed off? I relayed this to my charge nurse who simply asked me one question. “How would you feel if the roles were reversed? How would you feel having a female nurse care for you with those type of challenges”?

It was like a slap in the face.

I realized at that moment how selfish I was being, and that I wasn’t doing a very good job at being her advocate. I was too busy thinking about myself.

I walked back into the room and kindly explained that she would have a new nurse assigned to her care for the evening per her request. I bashfully walked out of the room and my attitude toward my patients was forever changed.

Sure there have been instances since then that have been offensive, degrading and down right ignorant. Some of these patients changed their mind and accepted me as their nurse, while others have not.

When I encounter this type of challenge in my practice, ever since that day, I have always asked myself how would I feel? If the opportunity presents itself, I always try to ask and investigate the details of their ‘refusal’. I find it a chance to educate them on how male and female nurses have no differences when providing the care they need. I try to understand their comfort level and do my best to lessen or even eliminate their anxiety. What I don’t ever try to do is influence or convince them that they are wrong.

It’s their care, not mine. It’s their choice, not mine. I’m just glad they felt comfortable enough to be honest about their feelings instead of being uncomfortable or even afraid of the nursing care they would receive.

In the end, we are their advocate. Even if that means stepping aside.

I don’t want a male nurse taking care of me | Scrubs Magazine

The internet is an amazing animal. The amount of information that is at your fingertips is mind-boggling. But, there in lies the problem. The information is so vast and so abundant that sometimes, maybe the information isn’t all that accurate. Or maybe the information is advertising one thing, but saying another.

Infographics are the latest craze. They truly encapsulate the saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words”. What better way to relay and share information that with a graphic representation? We here at Scrubs have used them a couple times here. I think they can be quite useful if used appropriately.

-Begin rant-

Such is not the case with this latest infographic about male nursing, or as the infographic kindly points out, murses. This latest infographic flirts between positive promotion and myth perpetuation. Be careful out there folks, the devil really is in the details.

I was informed of this wonderful piece of work by a colleague. After I picked up my jaw off the floor I felt compelled to share my thoughts with my fellow nurse and scrubs magazine readers. In one fail swoop it de-moralized and feminized the male nurse without even batting an eyelash (pun intended).

Things to note:

Bottom of infographic: Long live the Murse

• First of all, I don’t know a fellow male nurse who actually uses (let alone speak it) this word (murse) in their vocabulary.

• And when did we become trivial and laughable?

• The only time the word murse has ever been used was to poke fun or use in sarcasm.

• And the picture… Hmm.. so are we gonna get a catchy name like ‘rosie the riveter’? Maybe ‘manny the murse’ huh?

A great job for dudes

• These stats can be applied to ALL nurses, not just the male gendered ones folks. Nice try.

Icons of male nursing

• Gaylord Focker being the most iconic male nurse of our generation??? By whose standard???????

• And is the quote from his movies supposed to support or make fun of male nurses (the nipple comment)? I can’t quite figure that one out? – seems to me they have a funny way of showing support?

Assets of a male nurse

• Wow! 1 single asset??! Compared to 4 separate pictures for the trials of being a male nurse?

• So our only asset is big muscles HUH???

Trials of a male nurse

• The only one that has any merit of truth is the maternity ward – and that’s debatable since I know many men who work as nurses in OB.

• The rest are buying into all the popular myths and urban legends out there. Once again are they trying to help men in nursing? Or make fun of them here?

The first picture of the infographic

• So we all wear Hawaiian shirts?? What is up with the lavender pants?? Hmm.. both of these outfit choices lead me in the ‘gay’ direction- or is it just me? Can you say subliminal messages? What happened to all nurses wearing white?

• Well defined compensatory muscles? Give me a break. Did you really have to put that comment in there?

• The cruel and unfair treatment of murses, as they prefer to be called???? Who the heck made that claim?

• The incalculable contribution to the medical field? How about the nursing field maybe?

The negativity this infographic resonates is accidental and on purpose in my humble opinion. Better yet, I doubt a single male nurse (*cough* cough* – sorry murse) was part of making this.

I’m probably jumping to conclusions. I’m probably blowing this out of proportion. I can admit that. What I can’t and won’t admit to is that this piece of work is a great resource for men in nursing.

-End rant-

Photo credit: http://www.onlinenursingschools.com/male-nursing/

Men in nursing do not prefer to be called ‘Murses’ | Scrubs Magazine

Often we talk about all the ‘challenges’ and ‘difference’ we nurses (who happen to be male) face in our career. I for one believe every cloud has a silver lining, and well if you want to know the best perk we male nurses have you might wanna listen up.

No, I still don’t think we get treated any differently than our female colleagues.  No, I still don’t think we get a higher (or different) pay scale than our female colleagues. But, lately I’m told I live in a bubble – so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

The #1 perk to being a male nurse in my humble opinion….

No waiting in line for the bathroom (What were you expecting?!).

Just by sheer numbers and percentages, women outnumber their male colleagues 5 to 1 (at the very least).

Remember when you were in school? Class would break for one of those 10 min ‘breathers’,   and everyone would dart for the bathroom. Guess how long that line was to get in the bathroom for the women? And the men? This of course really only applies in the classroom setting (but can include seminars).Most health care facilities utilize a ‘unisex’ bathroom. So it’s just a matter of how long can you hold your water – heh heh.

Come on.. You know you found that entertaining.

Ok, maybe only the guys found this humorous. I just happened to notice the other day in class how the bathroom breaks are definitely not ‘balanced’ in any way.

I don’t know about you, but when you are crunched for time this is just a nice perk to have. Although I’m not sure I’d use this a selling point for recruiting?

THE #1 perk to being a male nurse | Scrubs Magazine

Yeah, yeah, I know. I said I wouldn’t use that darn term ‘male nurse’, but honestly I can’t think of a better way to describe and refer to this most recent phenomena. I think we’ve driven the male nurse urban legend into the ground with all the common myths out there, but this one blindsided me.

For those of you who do not know, I am a full-time student in an Acute Care Nurse Practitioner program. It’s still currently a Master’s prepared program. You graduate with your MSN and then can sit for your national certification exam in your chosen specialty (ACNP, FNP, etc.)

What most don’t know is that Nurse Practitioners, Clinical Nurse Specialists, Nurse Mid-Wives, and Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist all sort of start out with the same basic masters level education. Now, I’m just talking the basic courses here that are common to all the aforementioned advanced degrees. Your Advanced Pharmacology, Advanced Physiology, Research classes, Statistic classes, Health Education/Promotion classes, etc. Obviously each program will have a VERY different curriculum, but in the beginning and at it’s most basic level we all take the same Master’s entry-level courses.

I have shared classes and classroom with all the above mentioned students. Each curriculum is of course diverse in its own nature, and everybody is of course on a different timeline. It’s not uncommon to have 1st semester students with 5th or 6th semester students in the same class. It all depends on where you started, what program your in, etc., etc.

The whole point of my rambling is this. Apparently I’m not following the majority rule (yet again). I have lost count how many times I get asked how I like the Anesthesia program. Or have fellow classmates ask me about Anesthesia clinicals, or how did my Anesthesia clinicals go. Or they ask me for advice on Anesthesia classes and professors.

Some classmates will just blatantly ask me “You’re in Anesthesia right?”. When I reply no and explain I’m in the ACNP program, they look at me like I have 4 eyes or I have horns coming out of my head. (OK.. Maybe not that extreme).

But they have to take a step back. I have even had 2 students ask me why I’m not in Anesthesia???

Seriously?

Does the majority think that I chose Nurse Practitioner as an afterthought, or maybe as a back up plan or something? Or maybe they think I’m an Anesthesia flunky and this was my next best option?

I think this new myth rolls over from the other myth that all male nurses choose emergency/critical care nursing. Once again, probably the majority of male nurses CHOOSE to be in critical care or emergency nursing. I sure don’t ask the ones not in these specialty areas why they aren’t there.

*sigh*

I could be blowing this whole thing out of proportion ( I do that often). Maybe it’s just me and my personality? Who knows.

What I do know is that I made a conscious and deliberate choice to pursue a career as an Acute Care Nurse Practitioner. A choice I am very proud of and a role I am eager to step into.

Latest male nurse myth | Scrubs Magazine

I can’t say I like using the term ‘male nurse’, but it has staying power and clout when it comes to the circles of social media. I for one never use the darn term outside the internet. I find it misleading, confusing, and it sure doesn’t help alleviate the stereotypes out there by calling ourselves male nurses. But, the internet is what it is, so I’ll keep coining the term.

Male nurse myth #52: “The doctors treat a male nurse better/differently/preferentially than a female nurse” (by the way.. I have no idea how many myths are out there.. I just randomly picked a number).

This myth has been cropping up more and more lately. Not sure if it’s popularity is increasing, or I’m just paying attention more? The claim that a physician treats me better than my female co-workers is just hog-wash. Some claim it’s because I’m a ‘guy’. Some sort of male-bonding thing I guess? Other’s foolishly think doctor’s respect the ‘men’ more than the ‘women’. In the end, no matter what your theory is to explain this myth, it’s still just a myth. It AINT true.

As a male nurse (did I mention I hate that moniker), I get treated no differently based on my gender. My working relationship with any physician, just like all my other co-workers (regardless of gender), IS however directly correlated to my job performance.

The relationship between nurse and doctor is graded on a curve unfortunately. Let’s be honest here. A nurse who has keen critical thinking skills, an attention to detail work regimen and knows the golden rules of finely-balanced communication will have a great, strong, trusting and possibly stress-free relationship with any physician – once again regardless of the doctor or nurses’ gender.

A nurse who cannot efficiently prioritize their care, carelessly approaches their responsibilities, and either over or under communicates will struggle. They will have stress-saturated encounters with physicians and continue to improperly place passive blame.

The irony of it all, is that most physicians that trust your skills and your judgment end up treating you differently simply because they are comfortable enough to be ‘social’ with you.

Sure, men bond over ‘sports’ and other ‘manly’ things. Just like women bond over ‘fashion’ and other ‘girly’ things. I think one of the sources for this myth might have something to do with sheer numbers? I mean the majority of physicians are men (although not for long) and the number of men on a nursing unit is far smaller than women. So to single out a man and his working relationship with the physician’s just might be a statistical fact or anomaly (once again I’m just spit-balling here).

I’ve seen it balanced across the gender table. Physicians could care less what your gender is, what they care about is what kind of nurse you are, what kind of care you provide, and can they trust you.

Ask a fellow nurse, we all know the difference between a good and bad nurse. Need I remind you of the subconscious comments we all make to ourselves when we find out we are working with ‘that’ nurse or getting report from ‘that’ nurse.

During my career I’ve learned the hard way that you don’t want to be on the wrong side of that line. There have been many times where I have had to ‘check’ myself, and take a good hard look at what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I think it had a lot to do with just growing into my role (once again.. just my opinion).

Preferential/better/different treatment (of any kind), in my humble opinion, is a sign of respect from one professional to another. It’s never been about your gender.

Male nurse and the doctor’s favorite myth

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Urban legends. That what they are.

Some like to refer to them as ‘stereotypes’. Public opinion is generally not in sync with reality when it comes to the world of nursing.

This website and many others have discussed all the discrepancies before. Well, being a male nurse is no different. I’m here to tell ya those stereotypes are not what’s in store for ya.

Here is what being male nurse is NOT about:

• We don’t always get accused of being gay. Sorry. In my entire time as a nurse I’ve never once been confronted with this gem of a myth.
• We don’t get a job simply because we can lift the heavy patients.
• We are not singled out as the go-to free-labor nurse on the unit, simply because we’re men and we might have muscles.
• We do not lose our ‘man card’ when we become a nurse.
• Critical care and emergency nursing are not the only place that hires us or employs male nurses (it just happens to be the popular choice).
• The last time I checked I did not get a higher rate of pay just because of my gender. You earn every penny you get as a nurse, be it through experience or education.
• Male nurses don’t have it ‘harder’ working as a nurse. Yes, just by the percentages we are the minority. But the job itself has never been gender specific.
• And lastly, no you don’t get to tell a patient they have to accept you being their assigned nurse just ‘because’ or some cockamamie explanation about gender blindness. In the end the patients comfort is part of their care. Get over yourself. It’s not a stereotype, it’s just a patient preference.

Just in case you were wondering, here are a few things on what being a male nurse IS about:

• You have to earn everything you think you deserve
• You will have patients who are just not comfortable having a male nurse take care of them. It’s not a conspiracy against you are the entire male nurse working force, it’s just the patient not feeling comfortable. Try being the patient once. You’ll understand it more clearly.
• Due to society’s traditional legacy, yes, you will be mistaken for a doctor. Be sure to correct them and explain why.
• No one who comes across your path cares about you being a male, what they do care about is how you care.
• The minute you stop acting like a ‘male’ nurse is the minute they stop treating you as such.

Any questions?

What being a male nurse is NOT

Image source: buzzfeed

I had heard about this, but for some reason I’m just now getting around to commenting on it:

Glee’s Sue Sylvester believes a female football coach "is like a male nurse: A sin against nature."

‘Glee’ star has serious competition | TV | Entertainment | Toronto Sun

*sigh*

So , a sin against nature. Hee-hee, haw-haw. Yeah, I know all in jest, fun, comedy, satire, etc. I guess I just wonder what John and Jane Q. Public will do with this new information.

So now the next time a ‘glee fan’ is treated by a male nurse… hmm.. I wonder what they will think?

So, is it OK for this sin against nature to save your life when you need it? Should I or shouldn’t I catch when your lab values are out of whack? Is it OK if this sin against nature titrates the medications effectively that are giving your body a blood pressure?

Wait – Is it OK if this sin against nature understands, comprehends and follows the appropriate treatment protocols when there’s a machine breathing for you. So that I know when you need help, when you are doing well, when you are not doing well?

Is it also appropriate if this sin against nature…..

Wait. I’d better stop.

Sorry if I’m being a lil’ over-the-top here.

I just get so frustrated by the media’s contribution to our demise. When and where we will actually  get the accurate support is beyond me. Thus I know, it’s entertainment. But the world of entertainment’s tentacles are able to reach the most desolate of places and strangle the good sense outta the most innocent.

If we only had an equally strong presence of good, accurate information for the public.

The quest continues.

Scrubs (scrubsmag.com), the First Lifestyle Magazine and Website for Nurses, Premieres November 2009

Los Angeles, CA (November 3, 2009) – Scrubs Magazine (scrubsmag.com), the first lifestyle magazine and website for nurses, premieres November 15. The magazine, with a paid circulation of 350,000, will be sold in more than 1,500 nursing apparel stores nationwide. Strategic Partners, Inc. (SPI) – the leading nursing apparel and footwear company in the United States and manufacturer/distributor of scrubs under the labels of Cherokee, Disney, Baby Phat, Skechers, the NFL and others – is the founding sponsor.

“There are almost three million RNs in the United States, making nursing one of the largest segments of the U.S. workforce,” says Michael Singer, Chief Executive Officer of SPI. “Healthcare is one of the few sectors of the economy adding jobs.* Scrubs and scrubsmag.com are perfectly positioned to reach this growing and thriving market.”

It is pretty darn kewl to be a part of such an event. For those of you who have forgotten – I am the male nurse blogger for this internet (and now printed) magazine. Here is the original article regarding its release: Scrubs Magazine Launches – mediabistro.com: FishbowlLA.

Be sure to check out the website here: Scrubs-The Nurse’s Guide to Good Living

Awesome stuff!

I was at work the other day. I was in the Pre-Op area for the morning.

“For those of you who are not aware, I currently work in a small-community hospital in the PACU. Along with my Recovery Room duties, I also ‘moonlight’ helping out in the Pre-Operative stage of surgery. We do the Pre-Op checklist, JCAHO mandated requirements as well as hospital-driven requirements to ensure patient safety is first and foremost as well as certify everyone involved in the surgical process is on the ‘same page’ so-to-say.”

So there I am asking all the typical questions.

"Can you tell me your full name, birth date?"

"Do you have any allergies?"

"What are you having done today?"

(This list is virtually endless – I’ll spare you)- check, check and re-check.

The required banter is over. Now the patient and I have the infamous ‘downtime’ before they are met by the next set of nurses / physicians.

This is the ‘Hurry-Up-And-Wait’ stage = You need to work at light speed to get everything in order so that when the time is right (meaning when the surgeon arrives and is ready) we can get the patient moving down to the OR.

"This is the worst part" – I always tell the patients. "Once they roll you down to the OR , the next thing you’ll remember or realize is your waking up and it’s all over".

When time permits (meaning someone didn’t pull me to do something else, or another patient did not require my attention or services) I usually pass some of these ‘clock-watching’ moments with striking up a conversation. These conversations usually involve poking fun at the oh-so obvious surrendering of ‘control’ when a person undergoes surgery, but it can involve anything under the sun.

This may sound crazy, but I often forget the fact that I’m a ‘MALE’ nurse. I simply view myself as a ‘nurse’. I don’t introduce my self as, "Hi, My name is Sean. I’ll be your male nurse today." Maybe it’s ignorance.. or maybe it’s me subliminally coercing everyone around me not to ‘recognize’ me as their ‘male’ nurse. I don’t know.

All I do know is that when I get the comments from patients about being a male nurse, I always have to stop and put myself in their shoes. (Which is hard sometimes)

On this particular day my patient jests to me, "My friend in china could not believe there were male nurses?!"

….

….

(This is me trying to convey the moment of silence after this statement was made)

"Oh…."

"Uh…."

"Really?.."

The patient clarifies, "Yeah, I’ve been here before. So when he heard about you male nurses he was so shocked. He couldn’t believe there were male nurses"

I replied in my most professional voice I could muster, "Yes. There are a lot of us. Far more than most realize."

"And we’re here to stay" – I proudly grinned as I was called into another room.

We all live in our own ‘bubble’ of reality – no matter how small that bubble may be.

Hi. My name is Sean. I’ll be your nurse today.

‘My Friend In China’ originally posted on Scrubs | The Nurse’s Guide To Good Living

I briefly mentioned it a while back when discussing my endeavors with school and blogging, etc. It’s official now. Heck it’s been official for a couple weeks now.

I am now a regular blogger for the new website Scrubs – The Nurse’s Guide to Good Living.

I must disclose that I am a ‘contracted’ blogger, therefore I do get paid for my contributions to this website and blog.

It’s an awesome consortium for the ‘Nurse Today’. It has a little bit of everything-you name it. It tackles all the things that we nurses come across. Anything you encounter: Career, Healthy Living, Beauty & Style (What to Wear), Relationships, and Life Outside of Work.

I originally came across the website over the summer by way of Twitter. Back then I was still in my ‘Wellness’ and ‘Healthy Lifestyle’ mode. I was contributing some stuff that tackled the topic of staying healthy and getting in shape for Nurses and our busy lifestyle. They ironically had a need/want for a male nurse… a male nurse blogger in fact! Well Gee? Guess what? I’m a nurse. I’m a male. And I blog??

Ta-Da!

So I will be a regular contributor to this new awesome site that has an infinite amount of potential to be THE HUB for nurses on the web. A great resource for the new and seasoned nurse as well as the new and seasoned blogger(who happens to blog). The longer you hang out in the blogosphere the more and more nurses you find that share your desires. It is truly amazing how many of us are out there.

I will be sharing my stuff I have posted here on my personal blog on the Scrubs website, and vice versa. I’m going to try and keep it fair, simple and of course interesting!

Here is my ‘spot’ on the website. I am of course listed as the ‘Male Nurse‘. And here is the link to my RSS Feed.

What do ya think?!!