I have been reading, reading and reading, quizzing, quizzing and more quizzing. Things are starting to get a lil blurry…
I do think I’m drinking a lil too much coffee though.. don’t ya think?
Trenta sized cups are almost too small for me these days. Although.. I do feel a bit twitchy..
I promise…
Taking my boards can’t come soon enough. While I’d love to jump gleefully across the finish line, at this rate with the lack of sleep, and continuous question quizzing I may very well …
But if that gets me to that ominous place where I can say “I PASSED”. I’ll gladly crawl with pride.
Whether the test is physical in nature or not, we all can relate to The Grind. I stumbled upon this last night (not really sure where it came from). While it is targeted for the athlete in all of us, I find it’s motivation applicable to just about anything that requires strife, challenge or sacrifice… anything that life can throw at you (voluntary and by chance).
The next time life is trying to beat you down, testing you’re mettle… be sure to refer to this. I know I will.
6am and your hand can’t make it to the alarm clock before the voices in your head start telling you that it’s too early, too dark, and too cold to get out of a bed. Aching muscles lie still in rebellion, pretending not to hear your brain commanding them to move A legion of voices are shouting their unanimous permission for you to hit the snooze button and go back to dreamland, but you didn’t ask their opinion.
The voice you’ve chosen to listen to is one of defiance. A voice that’s says there was a reason you set that alarm in the first place. So sit up, put your feet on the floor, and don’t look back because we’ve got work to do. Welcome to The Grind! For what is each day but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way, 10,000 streams fan out like a river delta before you, Each one promising the path of least resistance. Thing is, you’re headed upstream And when you make that choice, when you decide to turn your back on what’s comfortable and what’s safe and what some would call “common sense”, well that’s day 1. From there it only gets tougher. So just make sure this is something you want. Because the easy way out will always be there, ready to wash you away, all you have to do is pick up your feet. But you aren’t going to are you? With each step comes the decision to take another You’re on your way now But this is no time to dwell on how far you’ve come. You’re in a fight against an opponent you can’t see Oh but you can feel him on your heels can’t you? Feel him breathing down your neck You know what that is? That’s you… Your fears, your doubts and insecurities all lined up like a firing squad ready to shoot you out of the sky But don’t lose heart While they aren’t easily defeated, they are far from invincible Remember this is The Grind The Battle Royale between you and your mind, your body and the devil on your shoulder who’s telling you that this is just a game, this is just a waste of time, your opponents are stronger than you. Drown out the voice of uncertainty with the sound of your own heartbeat Burn away your self doubt with the fire that’s beneath you Remember what you’re fighting for And never forget that momentum is a cruel mistress She can turn on a dime with the smallest mistake. She is ever searching for that weak place in your armor That one tiny thing you forgot to prepare for So as long as the devil is hiding the details, the question remains,”is that all you got?”, “are you sure?” And when the answer is “yes”. That you’ve done all you can to prepare yourself for battle THEN it’s time to go forth and boldly face your enemy, the enemy within Only now you must take that fight into the open, into hostile territory You’re a lion in a field of lions All hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says VICTORY is the only thing that can keep you alive So believe that voice that says “you CAN run a little faster” and that “you CAN throw a little harder” and that “you CAN dive a little deeper” and that, for you, the laws of physics are merely a suggestion.
Luck is the last dying wish of those who wanna believe that winning can happen by accident, sweat on the other hand is for those who know it’s a choice, so decide now because destiny waits for no man. And when your time comes and a thousand different voices are trying to tell you you’re not ready for it, listen instead for that lone voice in decent the one that says you are ready, you are prepared, it’s all up to you now,
I’m typing this post from my empty house. The movers are here today loading and hauling the remainder of our earthly possessions to our new home. We then make the road trip 90+ miles to our new place.
It’s a tad surreal. Things are happening so fast. It feels like I should be attending class. It feels like I should still be in graduate school. I feel like I’m still an ACNP student.
Graduation was a blurr of a memory. So much has happened in the past 4 weeks that I’m having a tough time keeping it all straight.
We finish the move this weekend. We have a sale pending on our house this week.
I’m studying for boards every chance I get. Little by little.
I’m continuing to work in the ICU at the bedside while all this is going on.
I honestly have to remind myself I’m a masters leveled prepared nurse.
Maybe someday soon this will all actually sink in??
So the wife and I are in the middle of a packing BLITZKRIEG. We have approximately 10 days to move 8 years of stuff out of our house and transplant it 90 miles to our new town house. All to be finished in one week’s time as of typing this post.
So every waking moment we’re not at work, we’re packing.
This morning I woke up in a zombie-like fog & haze. All I could think of was what I’m packing and carrying next. LOL
